Do you need help saying "no"?

How many times this week have you agreed to do something you didn't want to do? Are you drowning in 'shoulds' while your own priorities get pushed aside? Does the thought of saying 'no' fill you with anxiety?

"Ditties represent those things that we hold that we don't have to, that we don't want to, but we do so out of a sense of obligation and feeling like we should," explained Molly McGuigan, co-author of Ditch The Ditty: Doing What Matters Instead of Doing It All when we interviewed her recently.

"The power of ditching ditties together is that unlike going it alone, when we share our stories with other women, we not only validate each other's experiences but help each other see creative solutions we might have missed," added co-author Lindsey Godwin. "It's about creating spaces where we can be honest about our struggles, celebrate our wins, and lean on each other for courage."

Based on what we learned, here are three ways we can help each other:

• Do You Really Mirror: When you notice your friend considering taking on a new task, create a warm, judgment-free space where you can have an honest conversation by:

  • Gently asking: "Do you really want to do that?"

  • Listen without judgment to their response and help them explore their true motivation. Your role is to be a mirror, not a map by genuinely asking:

    • Is this something you genuinely want and/or need to do?

    • Does this align with your current priorities?

    • What would happen if you didn't do it?

  • Whether they choose to take it on or let it go, celebrate their clarity and let them know you’re there if they want to check-in at any point.

• Celebrators and Elevators: Create your own boundary setting cheer squad with other women where you can:

  • Recognize and celebrate each other's "no" moments

  • Share strategies for different ways to say “no”

  • Practice your "no" responses in a safe space with each other

  • Offer encouragement and support when someone is struggling with setting a boundary

• Ditty-Ditching Divas Network: Identify your "Ditty Ditching Divas" and save their numbers into the speed dial of your phone:

  • Note down each person's unique ditty-ditching strengths. For example, one friend may excel at turning a “duties” into “delights”, while another may be the queen of “no”.

  • Share your ditty ditching goals with them and ask for their help. Listen and learn from their experiences.

  • Reach out and ask for their support when you’re struggling. Be willing to laugh and cry as needed as your ditty ditching journey unfolds.

We took away so many aha insights and practical tools from our recent podcast with Molly, Lindsey and Miriam. For more insights on ditching your ditties, be sure to grab a copy of Ditch The Ditty: Doing What Matters Instead of Doing It All and visit ditchtheditty.com.

Remember: Every time you say "yes" to something you don't want to do, you're actually saying "no" to yourself. What ditties are you ready to ditch?